All We Have Is Time
On how many occasions have you had someone say, in response to an invitation, “I don’t have time?”
I think about “I don’t have time” a lot these days.
As we start to [for me, hesitantly] get back in the world, to embrace moving about, seeing friends and family, and travel, I am still happy in the setting I’ve created out of being told we needed to shelter in place. Sheltering in place meant that I had lots of time. Gone were the errands and distractions of necessary “appointments” that I had booked throughout the week and month. My days were distilled down to time in my space and the long walks I take every day without fail. I would go to the grocery store weekly and perhaps meet up with a friend now and then for a walk. I would also volunteer to take my friend's dogs for adventures, always enjoying having a leash attached to my hand while walking in nature or in the city. I created structure around my days, with waking up naturally but always around the same time, about 7:00 a.m. I would do an online workout with my favorite LEKFIT, which I had been streaming long before the pandemic. Then shower, dress, make breakfast and coffee, and sit down for a day of work, which might include phone calls, zoom meetings, writing, and an array of projects. I liked to connect by messages with friends, text, or Instagram DM’s if I wanted to share something fun. I would cook and listen to music and read and watch shows and films that sparked my interest.
But I had lots of time and I came to a realization that I have always have time, it is just what I choose to spend my time on.
Now that I am one week away from being fully vaccinated (I got my second shot last week — thanks science!), there is movement happening. Both perceived movement and actual movement, in that I feel that I can travel further, while still being cautious, and doing things that I haven’t done in over a year, like dining out at a Michelin Star restaurant, which was safely orchestrated and one of the top experiences in a life full of amazing dining experiences. An afternoon of many courses while sitting on the deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean in one of the most breathtakingly gorgeous spots I’ve had the pleasure to visit in the world — that was time well-spent.
On April 30, I embarked on a road trip from Portland, Oregon to Tucson, Arizona, and in the past I would have tried to make that trip as quickly as possible, feeling an urgency to get there, to my final destination, in the shortest amount of time possible. I now know that urgency came from a subconscious place that I could not “take time” to enjoy the journey because surely I was needed somewhere and indulging in a longer route or a more leisurely pace meant that I wasn’t being productive. I spent many years worrying about such things and I can say with full conviction that the time spent worrying was a waste of time.
On this trip, I took a couple of weeks to get from Portland to Tucson. I took a route I’ve never experienced before, going off the main highways and traveling through the stunningly beautiful Klamath National Forest. I had no cell service for hours at a time and that was OK, as I was enjoying the beauty around me, choosing to not even play music as I took in the sights. I traveled through the Redwood Forest for the first time and stopped to “forest bathe” under the massive trees. I spent two glorious nights in Mendocino, California — a magical and charming place I have never spent time in before and cannot wait to get back to. It was during my stay in Mendocino that I experienced the glorious Harbor House Inn for lunch. If food and wine is your thing or just stunning, draw-dropping views, the Harbor House is a must-visit. From there I drove through the beautiful Anderson Valley back roads to finally reach the main throughway, stopping in San Luis Obispo for a night before landing in Tempe on Mothers Day to spend 5 nights with my son.
All of this — a precious moment in time.
I don’t only think about myself when using the term “I don’t have time” now. I have purposely worked on eliminating that phrase from my vernacular when responding to invitations or potential opportunities. I feel that response is dismissive and hurtful overall. If I don’t feel up to seeing or talking with someone, I will explain why I can’t accept their invite but I will not use the phrase “I don’t have time”. Having a deeper explanation may take me a little longer, expressing my needing to decline or postpone, but I think it is a worthy endeavor. I feel that we are still in a fragile state, coming off of not only this last year but many years of stress, conflict, and strife in this country. Whatever I can do to make my friends and family feel good, valued, and important, even if I can’t respond right away for my own peace of mind, well, I’m going to do that.
If I “don’t have time” well, I don’t think I’m doing life right, and doing life successfully, by my terms, is something I hold very dear these days.
We make time for what is important to us. Because all we have is time.
